Shrein Bahrami, MA, MFTI

2010-12-22T13:43:00.000-08:00

Is a recent transition causing you to feel more anxious or disatisfied with your life?

Are you experiencing challenges in a relationship & want to speak to someone in an objective, solution-focused way?

Do you have consistent & intrusive critical thoughts regarding your appearance or weight?

Whatever reason brings you here, know that both hope and help exist. I understand that it may feel very overwhelming to ask for support, but the potential benefits are limitless. A successful therapeutic experience can help you to feel not only mentally but physically stronger, more present, as well as bring about a sense of peace and freedom in your life.

I am a warm, practical, and non-judgmental clinician who is active in the therapy room, collaborating with you to help you improve your life. My calm demeanor and deeply held belief that we are all in search of inner growth fosters a trusting and respect-based therapeutic relationship. To learn more about my practice, you may contact me by phone at (415) 595-8963, or by email sbahramimfti@gmail.com.

2010-05-04T20:02:00.001-07:00

A Magic Pill for Desire?

In the June edition of Psychology Today magazine, an article titled “Learning to Lust” by Catherine Elton caught my eye. In it, she discusses the differences in the libidos of men and women and how creating an equivalent drug like Viagra for women may not be the answer. Elton found that “in women, desire is more a matter of mind than mechanics and seems to be more affected by partner relationships, what’s going on around them and perhaps most important how they feel about themselves”. Yet, one researcher believes that the differences between the genders are not so simple. Marta Meana at the University of Nevada Las Vegas believes that relationships can actually have detrimental effects on desire for both genders; as the duration of the relationship grows their desire declines. According to Meana, “if safety, comfort, love, and respect were as facilitative to female sexual desire as some of the relationally focused literature claims, then we should not see as many married women in happy relationships complaining of low desire”.

So if long-term relationships are bringing about this impediment of desire, what can the partner do to help bring the lust back? Meana thinks that the feeling of being desired may be the key. Elton further points to several studies that show women often fantasize about being ravished or found irresistible and summarizes by saying, “perhaps that’s why they are turned on by relationships at the onset: women want a commitment because it signals they are uniquely desired. but after a commitment has been made, it’s meaning changes”.

For women who feel empowered to improve their sexual satisfaction, Lori Brutto, a sex researcher and therapist, created a program to increase sexual responsiveness. Below is an abridged list of the 4 steps Brutto compiled to foster a stronger connection between the mind and the body’s sensations.

1. Women first learn the basics of mindfulness in a nonsexual context. The goal is to guide the mind back to the present whenever distracting thoughts arise.

2. Next, women learn to examine their bodies in a nonsexual way without generating distress. The aim is to lessen distractions by judgment of physical appearance during sex.

3. Women repeat the body-focused exercise, but this time with a shift in sexual attitude. The goal is to help women change the way they look at their body and enjoy sensations in a sexual way.

4. Last, women learn to connect bodily arousal and emotional pleasure with experimentation, such as with fantasies or erotica.

In the end, although the solution isn’t as simple as taking a pill, there are multiple ways in which improvements can be made to increase desire for your partner. Not only will these suggestions help inside the bedroom, but will bring about a multitude of benefits outside as well. And if these suggestions seem too daunting to undertake alone, individual or couples therapy can help you by providing a safe environment in which you can explore possible fears, frustrations and self-doubt.

Read the complete article here.

Tags: couples therapy, desire, libido, lust, mindfulness, psychology today, viagra

2010-03-14T21:17:00.000-07:00

Is Marriage Still Good for Your Health?

A recent article by Tara Parker-Pope with the New York Times took a closer look at what scientists have consistently found to hold true after decades of research: the fact that married people, on average, appear to be healthier and live longer than unmarried people. But with more and more couples choosing to co-habitate longer and forgo that walk down the aisle, how does their health ultimately fare? And what about those marriages that eventually end in divorce?

New studies have shown that single people are healthier than those in dysfunctional relationships as well as those that were married but later got a divorce. Several epidemiological studies have suggested that unhappy marriages may bring about an increased risk for heart attacks and cardiovascular disease. By and large, what these studies are beginning to show is that the quality of the relationship has a greater impact on health than entering into the institution of marriage. From the way couples argue and work through conflicts to the level of emotional support; if these needs are not being met, their health and well-being is at risk. All couples have conflicts, but if they are unwilling to work on improving their relationship, either through seeking counseling or self-study(psychoeducation), it may often be the case that being single is a much better choice, mentally and physically, than to remain in a bad relationship.

To read the complete article, click here.

Tags: marriage, single, relationship, heart attacks, new york times, psychoeducation, counseling

2010-01-18T18:46:00.000-08:00

What is Marriage and Family Therapy

and How Can it Help Me?

Marriage and family therapy is:

brief
solution-focused
specific, with attainable therapeutic goals
designed with the end in mind

Marriage and family therapists regularly practice short-term therapy; 12 sessions on average.

Research studies show that clients are highly satisfied with services of Marriage and Family Therapists. Clients report marked improvement in work productivity, co-worker relationships, family relationships, partner relationships, emotional health, overall health, social life, and community involvement.

When a child is the identified patient, parents report that their child's behavior improved in 73.7% of the cases, their ability to get along with other children significantly improved and there was improved performance in school.

In a recent study, consumers report that marriage and family therapists are the mental health professionals they would most likely recommend to friends. Over 98 percent of clients of marriage and family therapists report therapy services as good or excellent.

Marriage and family therapy's prominence in the mental health field has increased due to its brief, solution-focused treatment, its family-centered approach, and its demonstrated effectiveness.

-from the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy website